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Howdy, I'm Rusty Grimplestitch, the newest Atlas correspondent. I just have a few words about the advertisements I see these
days. First of all, remember when McDonalds started that "i'm lovin' it" campaign? I politely ignored that fact
they they discarded capitalization in order to appeal to the age 18-35 demographic, but I simply cannot tolerate the blantant
lies: I DO NOT LOVE MCDONALDS!
"i'm lovin' it"? What a crock of shit! (The food and the slogan). Every time I encounter one of those ads, I
mail McDonalds a package full of the diarrhea I get from eating their food. I think they finally got the message though, because
the other day I saw this billboard while driving to the taxidermist to pick up Fluffy:
See! That's much better! I like advertisements that tell you the whole truth. Like these:
These advertisements really helped me with my life. Before I saw these I was constantly trying to stuff tampons into my urethra.
If it wasn't for Tampax's honest ad campaign, I would still be falling victim to the cotton catheter. Tampax, I salute you!
The final advertisement I have to show you is something I found while surfing the internet for mail-order brides.
Man! The truth that emanates from this ad is enough to make me wanna rub one out! Look at it. The kid smoking shows that the
tobacco companies are no longer scared to tell the truth that they're trying to sell their products to children. Also, old
people really are lame. I like cigarettes because if people didn't smoke, there would be a whole lot more old people in the
world. It would ruin the economy! I feel like smoking a carton of unfiltered's as tribute. Here's to you, JR Reynolds!
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